I Might Have Been In Denial!

I guess I knew that someday it would happen. Most likely there was probably a part of my subconscious that didn’t want to believe it. What do they say, "Denial ain't just a river in Egypt". I guess I hoped for a end result that worked better for me. My own positive outcome. I’m not naïve but I think we can create positive situations if we ARE positive. And I am not a worrier. I gave that up years ago. I believe we shouldn’t worry about things we can’t control. But I jokingly say my problem is I “think” I can control quite a bit.

But I couldn’t control this.

I guess I knew that someday it would happen.

Today, my youngest daughter Mackenzie is moving to Montana.

If you know me at all, you know I love my three daughters with all my heart. They are the very BEST thing I have ever done in my life. Long ago, when they were young, their mother and I agreed our roles in life were to raise strong, confident women. To help them to be great and successful members of this big, beautiful world. They needed to able to make good decisions for themselves. And they needed to only allow good people around them. We were consistent in our parenting to make this happen. I have previously wrote about how and why we did this in a blog called Strong, Confident Women Part I and Part II. They are lucky to have a mother that gave them the support and guidance she did. I am eternally grateful to her for his. But it helps to have a team raising great offspring. I am proud of my part. It fills my heart when I see them as they are today. Strong. Confident. And all around, good humans.

I guess I knew that someday it would happen. But my head might have been in denial land.

Mackenzie is moving to Montana. Because of a guy. Yep. There it is. She is moving for a guy.

This last year she met a guy on one of her big adventures. And from day one, they hit it off. She has always been pretty hard on men she dated. But when I say that I mean she doesn’t put up with crap. She is strong and confident. And she wants her man to be that way. No man buns for her. She wants someone in her life the treats her well and with respect. And I believe she gives that back. She should. But you don’t just get respect just because you are standing in front of her. You have to earn it. I would like to think I had something to do with that.

Things have been moving at a faster pace in the last few months with Mr. Montana. She has been flying to there for the weekend for the better part of the last 6 months. And when she wasn’t there, he was here. I met him for the first time at my favorite brother-in-law’s memorial service a few months ago. Meeting your girlfriend's family at a death event is not something many men of this generation would have the guts to do but he chose to be there for her after her favorite uncle died. Kudos, Dude. Kudos.

As we met for the first time, I studied him like a book. I wanted to see what he was made of. I did my normal move of trying to break his hand when we shook. But he looked me straight in the eye, shook my hand firmly and greeted me. Many times that night I watched him as he spoke or just when he was listening to others. Trying to read his body language. I was looking for Red Flags. I didn’t find any. But not for a lack of trying on my part. Then I remembered I needed to have faith in her and that she was making a good choice for allowing this guy in her life.

So fast forward to the last few months and the inevitable happened. They decided one of them needed to move. They had too good of something going on to not move to what comes next. They wanted to try to make things work. And since he his owns business in Montana, the choice was for her to move. It made the most sense. As much as I didn’t want to admit it.

I guess I knew someday it would happen.

So last night I fixed them dinner at our house before they left town. It would have been easier to just go out for dinner, but this is not supposed to be easy. Nothing about my daughter moving to Montana is easy. I thought dinner at our house gave Sheila and I much more time to visit with both of them. And it did. And it gave me time to remind him how much I love my daughter. But here comes my optimistic side again…

But I think it’s going to be ok.

I have been incredibly lucky that all three girls have chosen to live in and around Vancouver after finishing college. Up until now. It’s been a father’s dream that his daughters live close. Up until now.

But I think it’s going to be ok.

As she was getting ready to leave last night, I slipped her a Ben Franklin and told her to keep it in the back of her wallet. I chuckled that she might need to get home someday. We both laughed. It was the first of several “I love you’s” between us before she left. But it was my way to remind her I would always be trying to watch out for her. Even in Montana. 596 miles away. 9 hours and 3 minutes away.
 

I think it’s going to be ok.

Before they left, I gave him a big, strong bear hug and told him to take care of her. It wasn’t until after they left that Sheila told me Mackenzie told her to “take care of my dad”. And just like that, I had something in my eye. Again.

I couldn’t control this. And I shouldn’t try. I love her, trust her and want her to be happy. 

Today, my youngest daughter is moving to Montana.

I guess I knew someday this would happen.

I think it’s going to be ok.