How do I want to be remembered?
This week I attended the funeral of a dear, well-loved
family friend. Ottie was not only a friend of the family but a former fellow
KFC franchisee. And he was a mentor of mine. Not in the typical sense in that
we worked directly together or that he gave me regular advice but I strove to
be more like him every time I was around him. This man was so important to our
family that he was asked to speak at my own father’s memorial about my dad’s
life in the KFC business. Ottie was smart,
fun-loving, giving, dedicated and ethical. And he had probably the most
polished sense of fashion and style of any man I have ever known. But what I
really respected about him was his ability to command the attention of others
not by being over-bearing but by the fact that people respected him for the man
he was and how he lead his life. And
today it showed. As I approached the chapel 20 minutes before his service I joined
about 400 people who were also there to pay their respects to a great man.
One of my life mottos is “Weddings are optional; Funerals
are required”. Funerals aren’t for the
dead but for the living. Families of the deceased deserve to see and hear how
much their dearly departed impacted others. This is a small price I think we
should all pay in their time of grief. But there is also a benefit to attending
a celebration of life of such a person. You learn parts of their life that warrant
your attention. The parts that make you
say to yourself am I doing enough in my life and how do I wish to be remembered
when my time is up?
Normally one would cringe at the thought of a two hour memorial
service but somehow I couldn’t hear enough about my friend Ottie. And true to
form, I learned parts of his life I knew nothing about. Like how he escaped an abusive home life from
his step-father at the age of 12 to go live with his aunt and uncle on their
farm in Oklahoma. I learned how in 1958 he was certified to fly every fixed
wing aircraft that was available to the Air Force at that time, including
helicopters. I heard of how as a business owner he made sure his employees were
treated with fairness and respect and he create opportunities for all people
that were unheard of at the time. But
what I heard that touched me the most was the multiple stories of his unselfish
generosity and kindness.
One story that was especially meaningful to me was about the
time Ottie saw a man pushing a shopping cart down the street carrying his
personal belonging with his wife and children in tow. I have to admit there are
times I will see the same scene today and what comes to mind for me is what
stupid mistakes have these people made to put them in this situation. It must
be their own fault they are on the street. I admit my own short comings
sometimes. But my friend didn’t think this way. The story was told of how Ottie
pulled up to the man and handed him a $10 bill as an act of kindness. But the
story continued that as Ottie drove a few blocks away he pulled his car back
around to where this street family was. He got out of the car and asked the man
what was his problem. The man told my friend that he had recently got back from
military service and he couldn’t find a job and he and his family now had
nowhere to live. To my mentor, this
would simply not do. So he packed them all up in his car and took them to a
motel where Ottie paid for them to stay. Most of us would have simply stopped
there and called it a huge act of kindness. But this great man returned in a
couple of days to check on them and realized the motel where they were staying
was too small so he once again packed them all up and moved them to a place
with larger accommodations. But he didn’t
stop there. In the coming days, Ottie
arranged for the man to enter a class to become a commercial truck driver, all
at my friend’s expense. This was the act of a great man. And there were many more stories during the
service of how this truly generous and giving man lead his life through
honesty, integrity and a giving heart deserving of all of our respect.
So as I was driving the two hours home from this
distinguished man’s service I began to think of his example. How am I living my
life and what would be said after I am gone? If Ottie’s selfless acts of
kindness and work ethic was a bar for all of us to be measured how would I
rate? I am a believer that there is a lesson to be learned in life every day…and
I had just been schooled.
I came to the conclusion there is much more in life I can
offer. Oh, I consider myself a generous father, friend and boss but there is
more I can do. I need to look for more opportunities to help those in need. I
need to volunteer to help those who just need a helping hand but do it with a
giving heart. And I need to not judge the book by its cover as much as I have
previously. When I see that man or woman on the side of the road with the
cardboard sign to not make a judgment about how they got there but think about
how I can help them get away from there.
I have been blessed in life with opportunities so how can I give
guidance and assistance to others to help them succeed? This was the unforeseen
generosity of my friend Ottie. He showed all of us that were lucky enough to
celebrate his life this day that one man can truly make a difference and how
you live your life matters.
So I ask you how do you want to be remembered.
Are you doing enough?
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